You said! he screams, you said !
You always lie!
Explain how the buses aren’t running.
Explain we won’t be able to get home.
He is a furious whirlwind, unappeasable.
Every word a promise, and so
every word is a lie.
I hate you! he shrieks. I hate
you. You're the worst mother
in the world. You’re pee. You’re poo.
You’re all the disgust
ing things in the world.”
Vomit and spitup and urine and shit.
Is that not what mothering is?
I want to tell him how
his beautiful face turns ugly
how I hate the snarl of his bared teeth,
how the shades of his eyes pull down
over his soul. But as his mother,
I say Well, I love you. Swallow
the bile. Try to see him
beneath the animal-rictus.
Is this not keeping a promise,
even if unspoken?
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