Sunday, March 30, 2025

Judges 21: In Writing

 You said! he screams, you said !

You always lie! 

Explain how the buses aren’t running.

Explain we won’t be able to get home.

He is a furious whirlwind, unappeasable. 

Every word a promise, and so

every word is a lie.


I hate you! he shrieks. I hate

you. You're the worst mother

in the world. You’re pee. You’re poo. 

You’re all the disgust

ing things in the world.”

Vomit and spitup and urine and shit. 

Is that not what mothering is?


I want to tell him how 

his beautiful face turns ugly

how I hate the snarl of his bared teeth,

how the shades of his eyes pull down

over his soul. But as his mother,


I say Well, I love you. Swallow

the bile. Try to see him  

beneath the animal-rictus. 

Is this not keeping a promise,

even if unspoken?


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