Judges 3: In writing

Daily weigh-in
needle fluctuating round and round
the set point. No way
back to before
when your body was wholly
your own.

Look down 
at mountains and troughs--
fleshy landscape of broken promises
to yourself. Your goal is
Today you will

eat only when hungry.
cut out
cake. Sticky seduction 
of sugar. Long nights.  
The pull of sleep.

Lie on a bed of flesh
spreading like ripples.

All those months carrying

bear down on your bladder

the weakened sinews 

weaving torso together

leave a groove down the center

separating before and after

Life made flesh--

weight of time and inertia.

It is hard, hard to rise

hard to pull yourself up by your arms

only to swallow

dagger and hilt

and feel the fat close on top of it.